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justenough1217 40M
9 posts
4/25/2021 11:04 am

If you don't get to know each other first, how can trust really develop? And without trust, what will you really accomplish?


jenny14 75T  
90121 posts
4/25/2021 11:57 am

Natalie

Like all Relationships, D / S should take time


A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw

Jenny


Plzrmeister 67M  
10136 posts
4/25/2021 12:26 pm

To begin right away is a recipe to end right away too.

The D/s dynamic is a relationship first and foremost. A relationship that will endure takes time to foster and nourish.

Make Women Female Again


DancingDom 74M
22475 posts
4/25/2021 4:18 pm

Any connection needs to discover the way to communicate with each other. That takes time, just a building trust take time. One needs to discover is either party is honest with the other, again this builds trust. Time together allows them to discover comparability for mutual interest. Instant relationships are the fodder for fiction, i.e. Erotic Stories and Role play. Those simply do not reflect reality.

"One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"


alwaysassertive 63M

4/25/2021 7:14 pm

I prefer to talk to someone as a normal human being first. There's no point in preceding if two people can't have normal interactions as well. I would expect to have a friendly dialog where two people are getting to know each other on multiple levels.
Before I meet someone we've gotten to know each other and have already established trust and become friends. I always tell a woman. If you're unsure about something or someone the answer should always be no, and that includes seeing me. I wont try to talk a woman into anything. If she needs convincing then it's wrong. That's my opinion anyway. When she's ready to meet she will let me know.
Sometimes distance works in your favor because you dont have a choice but to take things slower. Distance will only be a problem if you let it.
There are no obstacles that cant be over come unless you place them in your own path.


satyrmi 58M/58F
40 posts
4/25/2021 8:02 pm

Due to the nature of the activities involved in BDSM (ie bondage), trust becomes very important. While trust can take time, it can arrive faster through open honest communication. (I'm don't do casual, so there's that, too.)


Tessa5652 53M

4/25/2021 11:15 pm

Communicate clearly, make sure everyone knows the limits.


looking4fat 72T

4/26/2021 4:16 am

As i am only interested in Dom Men, the basic "dynamic" (whatever THAT means) is always established well before we meet.

That said, in order for us to progress past basic sexual stuff to a more advanced stage, i need to trust Him. Sometimes that comes quickly and sometimes it never really develops. (i have a rather effective onboard bullshitometer.) The first step, for me, is a recent face picture.

My "gurl name" is Kate Coxuker. It is who i am and what i do.


Yocum1976 47M
21 posts
4/26/2021 1:03 pm

It's got to evolve, though never a limit on how fast or slow it MUST, just that it has to evolve at a speed that's natural and comfortable for both.


aldompdx 62M
1073 posts
4/27/2021 2:53 am

When you go into the water and get wet, should you learn to swim gradually, or right away?

The necessity for time is to develop confidence in another, since trust is more often misplaced than it is breached.

Since informed CONSENT is a fundamental tenet of BDSM, all such interaction must begin from an equal and balanced interaction. The amount of time which it takes a person to become informed, confident, and establish consent is unique to each individual and the dynamic circumstances of how they relate to their partner(s).

Via my handle ALDOMPDX, I communicate on the usual daught calm places.


IronDuke1956 68M
15 posts
4/27/2021 10:20 pm

What do I expect...well in reality what I desire....is a relationship which grows....deeper and deeper....both defining what the boundries are....both in play and in vanilla......trust ever deeper trust in each other....


dirtyoldwizard72 77M
148 posts
4/28/2021 3:32 pm

Build it slowly as have to build trust, feel each other out see it both can meet each others needs, plus if based off here then most want it there and then and forget there is another on the other side of the keyboard as wham bamm then off to the next one.


reticent85 38F
119 posts
4/29/2021 5:14 am

Strictly speaking about bedroom antics, I usually start right away. Personally I have no interest in vanilla sex, my M.O. is usually to get to know somebody though, talk a lot about kinks and go on a couple of dates, then if I feel 'it' bring on the ropey play time. But I also got my first boyfriend into the idea and lost my virginity gagged/blindfolded and bound ... so maybe that's just me haha. Things definitely evolve and get more intense the longer you play with somebody though.


Sirforher2030 52M

4/29/2021 5:41 am

Definitely build it up, it really requires that thoughtful construction.


fuku19 63M

4/29/2021 4:14 pm

know your limits


kokinx6 59M
36 posts
4/29/2021 11:31 pm

Oh yes


DragonTrucker69 55M

4/30/2021 1:15 am

It has to build slow, because trust builds slow. How can somebody be expected to submit if they don’t have a basis built for trusting someone to that level. If you try to go too fast somebody will get hurt, whether it be emotionally or physically.


bdsmDOMdaddy 61M
4023 posts
4/30/2021 5:22 am

every DOM is different w their own kinks & ways so a sub needs to dive in & learn on the go...it’s where all the fun begins!


bimom4taboo 53F
1976 posts
5/1/2021 7:16 am

i like for them to take some control right away and slowly take more as we get to know each other


iam4u2use 69M

5/1/2021 6:42 pm

Mmmmmmm slowly use me


bindittight 44M
20 posts
5/5/2021 5:07 pm

Give it to me baby.


QueeningCBT 46M

5/16/2021 12:24 am

A bit of both….submission at the start but evolution as trust and understanding develops


S_K_AlphaDaddy 56M

5/18/2021 10:32 pm

Like any good relationship need lots of good communication


Painter777 63M  
30 posts
5/28/2021 3:23 am

at the first meeting you know most of the time which direction and way of handling it is best.. if you are clever enough, then start evolving from there.. some need straight away stricktness others need to be trained.. so its bit of both.. use your brains.. as You are thedominant one..



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