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aliljaded 53F
23951 posts
8/20/2018 5:16 am
Speaking Up Without Acting Out

Speaking Up Without Acting Out

I have a core belief that my submission does not make me a doormat. It does not make me lesser, and it certainly does not mean that my opinions and desires don’t matter. What it does mean is that those wants come second to the desires of my Dominant.

One of my responsibilities as a submissive is to make my needs and desires known. It’s only with this information that a Dominant cannot make an informed decision. Unless I fulfill my responsibility to give him all the information he needs, he cannot fulfill his responsibility to care for me.

This is an aspect of my submission that I often struggle with. In other areas of my life, with anyone other than my Dominant, speaking up comes naturally. I make my opinions known loudly and often. When it’s time to speak up, it’s as if a switch is flicked inside me. Alpha me rears her ugly head in the very place her presence is least welcome.

How can I tame her? How do I set aside habit without defaulting instead to timidity, without failing to fulfill my obligation to make my voice heard? How do I balance my responsibility to voice my concerns and desires with my obligation to behave respectfully? The ‘me’ who is outspoken, brusque, and sharp-tongued is not welcome at Sir’s feet, so what am I to do?

I can speak only for myself, but for me, the answer lies in one deceptively simple thing…protocol.

My relationship with my Dom is not one of high protocol. ‘Baby’ is spoken as often as ‘Sir’ or ‘Master’, we speak casually, and we joke often. However, in these moments, the ones where I am making my needs known and giving voice to my desires, all of that changes. I find that the best way to prevent myself from the infamous ‘topping from the bottom’ is to wrap myself in the protocol.

I speak softly, I exercise deference, I use titles, and I am sure to say please and thank you. In short, I don the armor of protocol not to protect me from my Dominant, but to protect me from myself. Protocol sheaths my tongue and allows me to express myself without whining, complaining, or being petulant. It offers me an opportunity to practice humility, and ultimately submission.

pleasurewhore~


"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”


drmgirl622 68F  
25884 posts
8/21/2018 1:26 pm

I love the protocols......


asianat2008 69M
3955 posts
8/20/2018 9:04 am

Quite fascinating and relaxing pose.....

Self-respect is the corner-stone of virtues.


aliljaded 53F
8847 posts
8/20/2018 5:17 am

So spot on.

"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”



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